That spiral thing. When life takes over and you don't get to run or workout. So your stress level goes up (along with your weight and other not so good numbers). So you know you need to get back out there, but you feel further and further behind. So it spirals a bit. Until it's a month or two later, and all those bad numbers go higher. Now you feel guilty about it. And a 2 mile run feels like a half marathon. And you're telling yourself you can still do this. But you're not really sure.
Been there?
Yeah, most of us have. Living in the middle of it right now. So what's going on? It's a lot of the same things all at the same time.
Work. Love my job, and I'm lucky to have it. I work for a world class company and have an awesome team. But the world is changing, and the way I do my job is changing with it. People don't watch TV the same way, don't buy the same way, don't stay loyal to a brand the same way, and those are the three key factors to the business I run. So that's stressful and it brings a new challenge every 24 hours or so. So that all equals stress.
Family, of which I'm truly blessed to have, is also in transition. The kids are heading out (in fits and starts) and finding their own way. But their not independent yet. Mom is getting better, but she may never be independent again. And we live in Santa Monica. So the bills don't get smaller, they just seem to appear out of nowhere and grow to new heights. So that all equals stress.
And I'm not getting younger. Right, running away from 50, that's part of the deal. I get tired easier. I get new health issues instead of birthday presents. I'm still grinding, but it's not as simple as it used to be. Add to that the path I chose. I never was good in school, so I did it my own way. Out work the crowd. Take risks, take but shots, and never take off. That means in the last 25 to 30 years, I've had a few one week vacations, but I've been at it pretty much non-stop since the mid '80's.
All that means I have the occasional morning where I wake up and think "what the fuck am I doing?" Seems like most people had a plan, go to school, chose a career, move up and make it. I sorta got here because I got offered a position, and thought, "Hey that looks cool!" Jumped at it and didn't think about what would come next. Pretty much every time. So what does come next? Where is the plan? What am I supposed to do now?
Please send your responses to marc@ImFuckingClueless.com
That translates into the running thing as a huge pile of "I'm not motivated today." And that's why it's so hard to regain any kind of consistency in training.
That's why, maybe, the struggle to stay active is real. Sometimes the struggle to show up is real.
So what to do? Trying to do those little 2 and 3 mile runs a few times a week just to keep myself in the game.
Nothing this week, but it's only Wednesday, so there's still hope.
